THE GARAGE SESSIONS

Convince Me Otherwise Today I sought and saw your face and it took me to a different place where love was moving like the breeze that flowed over and filled me. I feared it wouldn't stay and so I simply ran away to find some form of easier means, but will I be sustained with weaker breeze? Well I can't be sure if you cannot find the words to convince me otherwise, and I cannot risk all of my heart unless you convince me otherwise. Would you tell me lies? Would you make me compromise my hopes and my dreams and all the things that I hold dear to me? And you would ever walk away if right before you told me you would stay forever and never leave--never fading, staying unchanging? Well, I can't be sure if you cannot find the words to convince me otherwise. And I cannot risk all of my heart unless you convince me otherwise. Oh, confusion always seems to get the best of me-- and I can fight my mind anymore, I can't fight my mind. Why do you answer me wordlessly? I can't look inside anymore, no, I can't look inside. I can't be sure if you cannot find the words to convince me otherwise. And I cannot risk all of my heart unless you convince me otherwise.

Erin's Song I saw me today through a look on your face. Why was I ugly? You feared me embrace and you didn't notice the change in your eyes, but I saw the transition from love to despise. How could you change everything so quickly around? The devotion you said was forever can nowhere be found. I guess you used up your affection and now you're free, and you know I will be so glad when the same thing happens to me. You left behind and it wasn't fair. You raced to the end to a finish we were supposed to share. You left behind and now you're free, but I'm still chained to yesterday at the start of "you and me." "It's been awhile now," you said, saddened voiced. Hope we can still be friends? Well, do I have a choice? And I didn't notice the change in your eyes as mine I made ready--ready to cry. How could you change everything so quickly around? The devition you claimed was forever can nowhere be found. I guess you used up your affection and now you're free. And you know I will be so glad when the same thing happens to me. You left me behind--it wasn't fair. You raced to the end to a finish we were supposed to share. You left me behind and now you're free, but I'm still chained to yesterday: at the start of "you and me." Oh how could I change everything so quickly around? The devotion I thought was forever can nowhere be found. I guess I used up my affection and I'm finally free: to find someone for whom the concept of love is not so confusing. I saw me today though a look on his face. Pure beauty, beloved embrace. And I didn't notice a change in my eyes. Perhaps they were resting--not needing to cry.

Out my Window You say it will all be alright one day. So I smile, but then you run away. Climbing out my window and walking out my door: leaving me all alone Like you did the night before. Oh dreams, why do you run away? Oh dreams, why do you never stay? I try to keep my hope alive,but you’re sly and on your sight I thrive. You’re always climbin out my window and walkin’ out my door: leaving me all alone like you did the night before. leaving me all alone like you will forever more. Oh dreams, why do you run away? Oh dreams...why do you never stay?

My Beloved Save--save what you want to. I’m not there to ask you but I soon will be And I,I’ll do the same thing, I’ll try not to give away too much of me. Because it’s not easy to say it’s easy to forget when the old ones are behind you but the memory’s not quite dead. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine, but sometimes our impatience makes us seek beloved in another’s eyes. And it’s not easy to say forgetting isn’t hard when the old ones are behind you but the memories scar And I, I don’t want to have to. I don’t want to have to try to forget. Because it’s not easy to say forgetting isn’t hard when the old ones are behind you but the memories scar. No it’s not easy- it’s never easy- to forget, when the old ones are behind you but the memory’s not quite dead. So save what you want to. I’m not there to ask you, but I soon will be.

Stubborn Way Is this the way we'll always say goodbye? Questioning glances, but never asking why I want to be the one, the only one, you laugh and share your dreams with late at night. And if I turned my gaze in your direction would you compromise and turn to me? You cry in your own mind and with your eyes you're silently pleading, but you never say the words that you want to say. And in your stubborn way you haltingly hold out your hand, but I know why you'll always pull it back again: it's not doubt or worry that's keeping your feelings at bay, it's your stubborn way. So should I offer a more obvious enamoration? Making it so easy for you to change your disposition of rigidity and stoicism to a softened ease. But would it even make a difference in your actions? Tell me please! Would it be your unraveling if you just took my hand. I know disregarding barriers is not within your plan, but I can't be the one who carries all the weight of your repose. And lately it's been getting heavier the longer this thing goes. You cry in your own mind and with your eyes you're silently pleading but you never say the words that you want to say. And in your stubborn way you haltingly hold out your hand, but I know why you'll always pull it back again: it's not superstition, destiny God or fate...it's your stubborn way.

Lemonade Iced Tea He gave me everything--he gave me life. Sunlight by day and starlight by night, and when we came to a place that I didn’t know he said to me “Will you go?” Though I trembled and my knees felt weak to stand, I felt power in the strength of his hand. He said “There is so much that I want to show you--will you go?” And I said “I was born to love you, though I never knew. Now I see the joy you have for me, what else can I do? I’ll run in the way your shadows fading, climb the mountain where you’ll be, run outside and dance with summer rain--anything to bring you close to me. Sit in my big and comfy chair and drink my lemoande iced tea, put on my coat and laugh with winter wind--trying to bring you close to me.” We travled for so long and I grew weaker more. He wanted to keep going and I asked him what for. He said “Just a little farther now and you will know.” He asked me again “Will you go? Will you go?” Night time came slowly and darkness faded in--I couldn’t see myself and I couldn’t find him, but his voice called out my name--beckoning me so. He called to me “Will you go?” And I cried….Well so many years have gone since my hand I pulled away, but so many blessed times I had the strength to stay. I struggle with it daily, though if he knows it doesn’t show. He still asks me: “Will you go?”

Rose-Colored Lenses Your rose-colored lenses veiw desperate scenes, and they try and paint over the grays and the greens. You never could notice the sorrow you bring. For your rose-colored lenses they blind you, it seems.And you won’t see me, no you won’t see me. Do my darkened perceptions and life’s bitter tones disrupt your pretty dreams? Because you won’t see me. Well your rose-colored lenses use simplistic means to make sadness look happy and madness serene., and you never could notice the pain inside me because your rose-colored lenses they blind you it seems. And you won’t see me. No you won’t see me. Do my darkened perceptions and life’s bitter tones disrupt your pretty dreams? Because you won’t see me. Your rose-colored lenses won’t let you see me.

Sarah Sarah walks the line between young and old down on the streets of Hollywood-- Where her soul’s been sold. She looks up at the white clouds and wants to fly there. She says “one time won’t hurt me too much.” She walked the balance beam at such a young age: countering her emptiness with a powder’s weight. She fills with the needle what life drains away, and the she feels alright for a little but the numbness fades and she says: I can see it at my window, I can hear it at my door. Please can I let it in? It’s not like I haven’t before… Morning comes. She plans to escape this life but she’s pulled back once again Into the heat and knife. She says “I want this deadly dance to end, but my addiction is such a jealous friend.” And she says: I can see it at my window, I can hear it at my door. Please can I just give in? It’s not like I haven’t before… She cries to the heavens: “My God, comfort me! If I could I would leave it all, but I am too weak!” And he says “I will hold you. I will hold you when the numbness fades.” She says “I can close the curtains at my windows, I’ll lock the bolt at my door. If you help me I will be strong It’s not like I haven’t before… If you hold me I won’t let it in I’ve already done that before I’ve already done that before I won’t go down that road no more."

When to Stay/Walk Away Sometimes you just have to know when to stay and when to walk away. I heard the edge was in your voice, and it cut me like a skillfull knife. The crimson stained you when we embraced and you said "Look what you did." So I raised my voice to higher levels to share equal spite with yours, and you said: "You gave into your devils, oh what a petty girl. I'll teach you to understand the moral of a turning cheeck. And so I tried to pacify my biting words, but I found I was too weak. You questioned me, so I answered you. I matched your disdain with a little of mine too. Back and forth, how the anger grew. And the loving words, how the hurt the most! Insincere praise--a condescending toast to the way I used to be lovely when you cared. Sometimes you just have to know when to stay and when to walk away. I said "It doesn't matter much," and you said "What do you mean by that?" I said "the answer's not too tough--we're both defeated!" You try and make me see it your way, I try and make you see it mine, and we are standing in my doorway as if it's easier to find a way to escape the trappings of our angry bind. But our words don't heal, they only tear and illuminate the dark that lives inside. Sometimes you just have to know when to stay, and when to walk away. Why don't we know when to stay and when to walk away?

En Cuanto A Mi Ellos dicen que estas muy bien y que encontraste otra amor, y me da gusto saber que nuestro pasado no te ha dejado memorias de dolor. En cuanto a mi, estoy perdido sin ti a veces sueno que me devuelvas. Duermo pero se que regresare, y siempre la quimera desapacera. Pienso que cada vex te veo buscare por mi corazon. Y creo que podre encontrarlo en el cascajo de tu destrucion. En cuanto a mi estoy perdido sin ti, y a veces suenso que me devuelvas. Duermo pero se que regresare, y siempre la quimera desapacera. Me da gusto que estes mejor, lo siento que estoy peor. Puedo ver que olvidaste, lo siento que no podre. Me da gusto gue estes mejor, lo siento que tengo furor. Puedo ver que olvidaste, lo siento que no podre...

Say, Say, SayI walk in the moonlight down the street toward the corner market. It's only a block but feels so far away. I look at the faces of the people on the carton of milk, give the man at the counter the rest of my change--lord knows how hard he's worked. I climb the stairs to my apartment and your waiting at the door. I can guess the words from your lips-it's not hard, I've heard them before. You say you will be different, with repentance on your face, and you ask me to stay. You promise that this time you'll change your aversion to change and you say things will be better now, but I know your words are weak houses of straw that your actions will soon blow away. With you it's always the same old say, say, say. You search my cupboards for coffee though I don't drink it. I never did like the taste on my tongue--so strong and bitter too. Still you look for the drug as you fill the air up with your words of how you know me better than anyone, and I wonder if you really think you do. It's like the time you tried to sing my favorite song but the words kept coming out wrong. You say you will be different, with repentance on your face, and you ask me to stay. You promise that this time you'll change your aversion to change and you say things will be better now, but I know your words are weak houses of straw that your actions will soon blow away. With you it's always the same old say, say, say. Oh boy, are you sure you want to do this game again? You never win. You never really play. And truth be told it's getting old, and I'm tired anyway. I've been beaten by your say say say. I'm through with your say say say.

Pocketful of Little Quotes I wonder what you didn't see at the sight of your inconsistencies. I could ask you if you'd like to know all the things you meant but never showed. I can see the sadness in your eyes, but you say "cie la vie" with your lips and your force a smile. Well I don't need a grand collection of your little quotes because you know I like to keep my hands free, too. But it's so easy discarding heavy truths with light cliches, so maybe just a pocketful will do. I guess it is such a simple thing to do away with the complications emotions bring. "Yes," you say to yourself "yes, I have found the way: when independent thinking gets too tough have the perfect phrase to say." But you don't see the sadness in my eyes when you say "cie la vie" with your lips and force a smile. And I don't need a grand collection of your little quotes, because you know I like to keep my hands free, too. But it's so easy discarding heavy truths with light cliches, so maybe just a pocketful will do. Oh you know I just can't take it. When you drop it you always break it and say "God must have meant it this way." And as we are slowly dying I am mourning, I am crying and you say "You gotta just live for today." And you feed me what other ones say. I just want you to go away, because I don't need another selection of your little quotes. You know I'd like to keep my hands free, too, but it's so easy discarding heavy truths with light cliches, so maybe just a pocketful of little quotes. Maybe a pocketful of your little quotes could keep my hands free, too.

This Time I wish that I could say, with strong conviction, that I stood so unmoving in my position of unceasing joy and abounding faith at the touch of your hand and the sight of your face. But I was the one who stood in your grace and walked away. And I only wanted to be free, but now chains of solitude bind me and keep me from thee. And I will ask again to be at your side. I pray that this time I abide, for the only thing that keeps me from you is my pride. I fear that I cannot stand in this thrashing ocean of my own will, my stubborn devotion to my own life in my own way, my own words--not what you would say. But even though I turn you away, you stay. And I only wanted to be free...How can I be a vessle when I am so shot full will holes? Why would you even want me when I won't let your mercy flow? Holy Father, hold me in your hand so the water that seeps through my soul is somehow saved from escaping and poured from your hands once more. For I only want to be free, so take this broken life from me and bind it to thee. And I will ask again to be at your side and I pray this time I abide, for the only thing that keeps me from you is my pride.

MISC.

This is for You Where are you know? Are you sleepless under midnight's blues or are you walking down sunny streets? Is someone there walking with you? Here I am: a heart that's yours one day to find waiting to be opened wide. Where are you now? Are you restless just like me? Are you looking for a sign, or will you feel it when we meet? Well here I am: standing still with arms at my sides waiting to be opened wide. If I knew how to get to you I'd mark it like a treasure map: a big, black "X." I can't wait for all the fun we'll have, the times we'll share laughter, and all the s...weet conversation. So many times I've wanted to see your face and hold it in my hands and mine was held in yours. I give repentence for impatience, I just want you to be near--I just want you to be close. Please be close...Where are you now? I don't even know your name. I can't say the street where you live, or if your summers ever bring you rain. But I know you were made good, strong, and kind, so hurry up and find me. Here I am: standing still with arms at my sides, a heart that's yours one day to find--waiting to be opened wide. I'm just waiting to be open wide.

Spring 2003 I never realized how emptiness lived in your eyes, until the day you said "I'm leaving you behind." I saw how easily you made the decision to abandon me, still you put on a sad face as if I hadn't already been replaced. But I said "Why cry? It's not like you feel that much pain, not like you feel any pain at all! Why sigh as if you're leaving's a strain? You know you'd do it again and you're just acting like someone pretending to know how it feels." They say you're too immature to understand how you're actions hurt. But to me it seemed so simple: you left me behind. One decision was including me, the other one excluding me. You chose the latter so quickly while later you feigned remorse. But I said "Why cry? It's not like you feel that much pain, not like you feel any pain at all. Why sigh as if you're leaving's a strain? You know you'd do it again and you're just acting like someone pretending to know how it feels. Your eyes say that I shouldn't be mad, I shouldn't be sad, I shouldn't even feel hurt. And your silence screams that I'm too sensitive, I'm too soft. I'm too fragile and I shouldn't feel lost but it's not like I wanted to-that was up to you. And it's not just you leaving it's you pushing me out. Is it so easy now to exonerate yourself from blame, to say you did alright in God's good name and it'll be ok? Well you're not the victim and your tears don't fool me. That's just self-flattery because I know you don't really feel that bad. I know you cannot feel that bad. I know you're not able to feel that bad. So why cry? It's not like you feel any pain, do you feel any pain at all? Why sigh as if your leaving's a strain? You know you'd do it again and you're just acting like someone pretending to know how it feels.

Smokescreen Apologies Again there you go--more falsities and promises. Well, I should have known you’d change. I cling you your apologie-- to sincere 180 turn arounds, but all your insecurities warrant only selfish gain Complex tones of regret make you feel OK: A smokescreen for the fire that you let burn this way. A blazing passion for yourself and no one else. Don’t feign to make me think you’ll let the flames die out-- I know you too well And so you say the “struggle” makes it hard for you,but in this race you run against the crowd. You say you’re “torn” in this game of consequence, and you fake forlorn-- but you know what you’ll choose. Careful tones of remorse make you feel OK… “Sorry’s” cannot hide your true condition-- apathy for a self that’s not your own. But to guard your heart from guilt you borrow sad eyes and cry fake tears when you realize you’re not alone. Complex words of regret make you feel OK... Again there you go, more falsities and promises. Well, I should have known you were always this way. Bringer of the Sunshine I remember we were young once and the word was held by a string: do you know what I mean? We had no worries, we had no cares, we stood barefoot on the shore just like the years before. We through rocks in the ocean, sand in the sea, inciting waves wrath with our childlike profanity. We screamed “where’s the sunshine?” It hid from view Tuesday thought it came out on Monday, and we always knew this would happen to it one day. What we had wasn’t so bad--it was simple. And you said to me “give me a hand sister, We’ve got to put up a fight. If you’d just help me we could be the bringers of the sunshine.” Now we’re older. Life seems colder and our days are spent walking that string-- I know you know what I mean. Keeping our balance we push off others. Would you tell me, brother, that it’s not long to fall? That the distance is small? ‘Cause I was dancing with your shadow. Braced for defeat I was singing your last sung melody When you said “where’s the sunshine?” It hid from veiw Tuesday…. Don’t let expectation get to you down If you’re looking for perfection you won’t find no one around Don’t let expectation get you down It hid from veiw Tuesday...

Natalie Waitsa Natalie says “I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure. And sometimes I’m left wondering what all of my wondering is for.” She is not a girl to blame her God for anything that she is not, but when she looks around she sees empty spaces for things she hasn’t got. It’s not easy. She walks with the world on her shoulders and she cries rivers of tears. And she knows that one day she’ll be olde, but can she wait all those years? Natalie waits... Natalie says “I want to be the one who fits so nicely in his eyes, but I am such a plain girl and I’m sure he wants a fancier shape and size.” So this is the way she tears down her dreams: like the posters long-gone from her walls from the days she dreamed of Carnegie, but convinced herself her hands were much to small. It’s not easy…She walks with the world on her shoulders and she cries rivers of tears. And she knows that one day she'll be older, but can she wait all those years? Natalie waits... She doesn’t know she’s beautiful. She doesn’t know she’s strong. She only sees her imperfections in the places she doesn’t belong. But one day she’ll know she’s beautiful, one day she’ll know she’s strong. And she’ll see that her imperfections were perfect all along. She walks with the wind on her shoulders and she laughs without worry or fear, because she knows that one day she'll be older and she can wait all those years. Natalie waits...

Better Simple truths make simple deeds--how I want to see them through. Stepping 'cross a thin wire towards a better image of you. So how from such a pure want comes selfishness and rage? I come down, look around, and plead to be freed from this cage. I promise I'll be good: I've got slow resolve, then I'm eager to change. Doing things I never would say makes me feel ill and so, so, so...strange to have intentions strong, and oppostie acts just stringing them along. I'll try to be better. You know I try to be better. Remorse is such a giant word for a girl of such small years, but faith, insulted--sensing doubt, fled away and left me here. Knowing failure, knowing pride, I call my fall my own. Then try to climb with desperate mind these walls made of will made of stone. I promise I'll be good:I've got slow resolve, then I'm eager to change. Doing things I never would say makes me feel ill and so, so, so...strange to have intentions strong, and oppostie acts just stringing them along. I'll try to be better. You know I try to be better. So I can hide away from you faking peace with idle time. But I can never hide away from you. Back to start and start to find...I know that you are good: though I've got slow resolve you are eager to change me. Doing things I never thought I could because you give me strength, well I guess it's your strength anyway...I've got so much to learn--salvation and grace are not things that I can earn, even if I were better. but I'll still try to be better. Yeah, I'll still try to be better.